Love
Selfless, sacrifice, kind, true and forgiving. If you were to practice these things then my friend you have began your journey to loving someone or to at least understand love. Do not mistake comforts, fear, desire to satisfy a lack in your life as love and most importantly what you don’t have you can’t give. So if you can love yourself better still God, then you may just be able to love another person
Hope
Hope is the future that keeps you going because you believe that your tomorrow will be better than your today.
Negativity
I also wonder why some people just enjoy negativity so much, they tend to have a new sort of joy at creating pain for others and just being generally an itch to others, the more I wonder the more I realise these type of people have very little to celebrate in their lives and very little to hope for. Once you see them, you have seen the sum total of their life. So regardless of what they say about you they just want to satisfy their lack
Faith
I once heard a preacher say there is a difference between the fact and the truth about you. Those who believe in God would apply their faith and that triggers hope and miracles regardless of the fact on ground because your faith is based on God who can do things that are impossible to man, and this can make the fact of a situation differ from the truth of that situation. I believe in change, because anything that remains the same is dead!
Who are you?
Who I am is not as important as whose I am. I am defined by what I believe and not by what I see
Cowards
I would define the male version of this group of people as “big girls’ blouse” and there are very many of them now, especially with social network site and emails. People can’t even stand in front of others and make accusation directly to the person. And of course they defend their behaviour by further surrounding themselves with cowards, no surprises!
Peace or Fight
Failure to reach an agreement because of selfishness, self righteousness or stubbornness in the believe that you and no one else is correct on the issue could be the worst mistake you make because the passive partner who has neither said a word on the matter or has taken a position of peace may be more aggressive than you can ever imagine. Their pain and anger on that same issue could be bottled up and controlled for a greater purpose not because they are weak or unable to fight back.
But of what use is a fight when no one comes out smelling of roses, when you can simply resolve it. To this end I would like to encourage the seekers of peace to keep doing what is right for the sake of peace. I believe that from the perspective of the “accused” the desire for resolution is not necessarily guilt but a desire for peace. So whether you believe you are the victim or accused, the problem can be resolved by a genuine attempt by both parties because no problem has come to you that is new on earth. Seek peace first!
At this juncture though I must admit that someday you will have to fight and if you must fight, then my friend for the peace you have kept all this years, for the peace you have so cherished and scarified for, again my friend fight fight and fight till the last drop of blood and let anyone who may come against you meet with us, for we will stand together with you at the battle for peace and truth until our last blood is spilt, for we know the truth, we understand the peace and we NEVER LOSE
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
Friday, 29 May 2009
Hold on to your Dream
In the last few weeks I have been having a strange feeling that most of my dreams will soon come to pass. Unlike HOPE our dreams are the point of contact or mental visualisation of our hopes or desires, in a dream you see yourself there already, you get a sense of the reality of that hope or desire, that thing you have always wanted to happen to your life to give you a sense of fulfilment. Of all the things that can keep you going and hoping, your dream is the most important.
Before we get carried away with the power of your dream, it is important to ask, do you have a dream? And if the answer is yes, have you been protecting that dream? If the answer is no, well you are in trouble already. For those with dreams, it is important you safe guard your dream because everyday life and on the spiritual side the enemy wants to destroy your dream, I cannot give you a reason for this because I will have to deal with a lot of things in order to explain it but believe me your dream is not sitting there looking pretty without an attack planned on it. When you first had the dream to become a doctor, to be the most charitable person ever, to be the best dancer ever, to have the best family home, to be loved like never before and so on, most of this dreams did not just flash past they were in your heart for a very long time sometimes form childhood and sometimes from the day you decided that you knew what you wanted. But something happens that changes all that and you settle for less, without any warning you are now living a life that you never saw for yourself, a life full of “ifs” and “buts” and that life my friends is not God’s plan for you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made to be happy, fulfilled and complete in all things that pertain to life and Godliness.
So what happened? Well, we gave up, we didn’t just believe it anymore and we felt we had run out of time. You must remember that a dream keeps popping up in your heart from time to time it’s not an emotional experience it’s a genuine call to become who you should be, it’s your inner man crying out for help. Hence once you start living a life that is not yours, you find that you are unhappy most times, you have become the most cynical friend a person could have and your perception of life is negative at best
Solution
First things first, you have to know what your dream is. So in keeping with the philosophy of this blog to draw from personal experiences and from that of my close friends (not very many I must add). I found out that whenever we seem to get closer to our dream comes the most challenging time of our lives. The push and pull of life, the distraction and the fear that you may not make it, for example at the time a young man’s wife had just been transferred to another town (she had to move to secure her job or lose it) she realises that she is pregnant. Another example at the time a young man was practically willing to travel back to Africa for a woman to marry he met his soul mate here but is now thrown into a family controversy, likes of which Shakespeare will be very grateful to write about.
In all of these situations these young men and women are close to their dreams and probably the happiest they have been in years, they didn’t have to have the added stress of having to deal with distance or decisions or like the second case to deal with family issues that they know nothing about. But this is exactly why you must know in your heart that what you are about to achieve is part of your dream, you must not let up or give up, there is no such thing as easy sailing life. There is no one that will not face challenges, the issue is not the challenges you face the issue is can you hold on to that dream. I have come to the conclusion that purpose of the challenges we face is to help purify our dreams, to put the dream to the text of fire so that just like gold it will be purified and come out pure and clearer for all to see.
Your dream is yours and no one can take it from you, not even the devil. You alone can destroy it or give up on it, so you must resolve at all cost ( without becoming a freak, being sure that it is your dream not emotion) to reach the end, to live a fulfilled life even if things don’t look good at the moment. Hold on to the little sparks of light; add some oxygen to that spark at the same time diminish the value of the challenges and hold on to your dream. This is the source of true happiness and if you are happy, others around you will be happy too.
Before we get carried away with the power of your dream, it is important to ask, do you have a dream? And if the answer is yes, have you been protecting that dream? If the answer is no, well you are in trouble already. For those with dreams, it is important you safe guard your dream because everyday life and on the spiritual side the enemy wants to destroy your dream, I cannot give you a reason for this because I will have to deal with a lot of things in order to explain it but believe me your dream is not sitting there looking pretty without an attack planned on it. When you first had the dream to become a doctor, to be the most charitable person ever, to be the best dancer ever, to have the best family home, to be loved like never before and so on, most of this dreams did not just flash past they were in your heart for a very long time sometimes form childhood and sometimes from the day you decided that you knew what you wanted. But something happens that changes all that and you settle for less, without any warning you are now living a life that you never saw for yourself, a life full of “ifs” and “buts” and that life my friends is not God’s plan for you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made to be happy, fulfilled and complete in all things that pertain to life and Godliness.
So what happened? Well, we gave up, we didn’t just believe it anymore and we felt we had run out of time. You must remember that a dream keeps popping up in your heart from time to time it’s not an emotional experience it’s a genuine call to become who you should be, it’s your inner man crying out for help. Hence once you start living a life that is not yours, you find that you are unhappy most times, you have become the most cynical friend a person could have and your perception of life is negative at best
Solution
First things first, you have to know what your dream is. So in keeping with the philosophy of this blog to draw from personal experiences and from that of my close friends (not very many I must add). I found out that whenever we seem to get closer to our dream comes the most challenging time of our lives. The push and pull of life, the distraction and the fear that you may not make it, for example at the time a young man’s wife had just been transferred to another town (she had to move to secure her job or lose it) she realises that she is pregnant. Another example at the time a young man was practically willing to travel back to Africa for a woman to marry he met his soul mate here but is now thrown into a family controversy, likes of which Shakespeare will be very grateful to write about.
In all of these situations these young men and women are close to their dreams and probably the happiest they have been in years, they didn’t have to have the added stress of having to deal with distance or decisions or like the second case to deal with family issues that they know nothing about. But this is exactly why you must know in your heart that what you are about to achieve is part of your dream, you must not let up or give up, there is no such thing as easy sailing life. There is no one that will not face challenges, the issue is not the challenges you face the issue is can you hold on to that dream. I have come to the conclusion that purpose of the challenges we face is to help purify our dreams, to put the dream to the text of fire so that just like gold it will be purified and come out pure and clearer for all to see.
Your dream is yours and no one can take it from you, not even the devil. You alone can destroy it or give up on it, so you must resolve at all cost ( without becoming a freak, being sure that it is your dream not emotion) to reach the end, to live a fulfilled life even if things don’t look good at the moment. Hold on to the little sparks of light; add some oxygen to that spark at the same time diminish the value of the challenges and hold on to your dream. This is the source of true happiness and if you are happy, others around you will be happy too.
Thursday, 28 May 2009
Am back!
Wow! Wow!
It’s been a crazy period in the past few weeks. I am really sorry for the delay and the follow up on the blogs, but I am back people….. not that I have much to say… The last topic was relationships, before I return to my run of topics, a lot has happened in my life and in the world that makes me wonder if the world is going crazy or it’s just me.
Check out the following
1. North Korea is going crazy while the world is playing politics with Russia and China
2. The British MPS are falling over themselves about revelations of misuse of tax payers money while we all know that most people in such positions have benefits even if we don’t agree with all of it. The press is making them run around like kids defending themselves over every penny
3. Man U lost a game because for some reason they froze and didn’t play as you have come to expect of them
4. The Catholic Church in Ireland is in big sh@* for the things their priest did which the Church has covered up with no regard for others.
5. Israel is refusing to listen to America wow!
With all this going on, you almost forget just 2 to 3 months ago everyone was talking about the recession. In all this though nothing is more important than your personal life and everything happening to you. This is why this blog is so relevant and important to everyone including me, I read my blogs again from time to time because I find things in it that encourage me and sometimes I actually wonder if I wrote it.
One of the reasons we keep going regardless of how crazy things look is simply because of HOPE, which is basically a general feeling that some of our desires will be fulfilled. This four letter word is one of the greatest pull on our subconscious inner man to continue and stay alive, to believe, to work, to get up and go. We all hope for the best, I have never heard of someone who hopes (desires) for the worst. So inside us there is a desire to make it, to get it right and to have the best we can. My friends I shall be back with more tomorrow, I only wanted to welcome you back to my blog as we continue on life’s journey of hope and us
It’s been a crazy period in the past few weeks. I am really sorry for the delay and the follow up on the blogs, but I am back people….. not that I have much to say… The last topic was relationships, before I return to my run of topics, a lot has happened in my life and in the world that makes me wonder if the world is going crazy or it’s just me.
Check out the following
1. North Korea is going crazy while the world is playing politics with Russia and China
2. The British MPS are falling over themselves about revelations of misuse of tax payers money while we all know that most people in such positions have benefits even if we don’t agree with all of it. The press is making them run around like kids defending themselves over every penny
3. Man U lost a game because for some reason they froze and didn’t play as you have come to expect of them
4. The Catholic Church in Ireland is in big sh@* for the things their priest did which the Church has covered up with no regard for others.
5. Israel is refusing to listen to America wow!
With all this going on, you almost forget just 2 to 3 months ago everyone was talking about the recession. In all this though nothing is more important than your personal life and everything happening to you. This is why this blog is so relevant and important to everyone including me, I read my blogs again from time to time because I find things in it that encourage me and sometimes I actually wonder if I wrote it.
One of the reasons we keep going regardless of how crazy things look is simply because of HOPE, which is basically a general feeling that some of our desires will be fulfilled. This four letter word is one of the greatest pull on our subconscious inner man to continue and stay alive, to believe, to work, to get up and go. We all hope for the best, I have never heard of someone who hopes (desires) for the worst. So inside us there is a desire to make it, to get it right and to have the best we can. My friends I shall be back with more tomorrow, I only wanted to welcome you back to my blog as we continue on life’s journey of hope and us
Monday, 4 May 2009
Continuation of looking for answers
Identity
The life we live is both spiritual and physical, accepting this will help you understand why most things happen and why what you do about it matters. Without accepting this, you are merely a wandering empty shell, because all you do is wake up, go to work or whatever you do, eat, sleep and wake up again. Repeating such aimless wander does not leave me with great excitement to be human. Having accepted that we are both spiritual and physical beings, it becomes necessary to consider which is more important.
Why should one be more important than the other? Because the important part of any human being determines how they react to things, it affects their perspective on everyday life. Based on my little life experience I would say it is greater to be more spiritual than physical. Having agreed to be a more spiritual being, I immediately have an identity of sort, a sense of where I belong, a sense of who I am and whose I am. Knowing who you are makes life a little easier, for example the fact that you know your name makes it easier to answer if someone calls you and when you have your name written on a property you can calm that property to be yours. Names help us identify ourselves and our properties. So it is spiritually, knowing who you are will help you resolve any issue that troubles you.
It’s also important to know which spiritual identity we need. For me that question is simple as I indentify with Christ. And this is the major difference from being religious and wanting to know Christ personally, not as a study of Christology but to have a personal relationship. So then, what is the problem you have that God cannot understand? God understands, because we know that Christ was in human flesh and had full understanding as a human being, feeling the pain, the gossip about you, the being broke, the lose, the anger of being let down, the desire not to forgive those who may have hurt you, a sense of weight on your shoulder, loneliness, jobless and many more issues that trouble us.
At this juncture, I would ask you let go of most religious preconceptions that you may have from your religious group and walk with me, believing that the spiritual life in Christ is greater than I the writer. For those that feel they know me, well let go of that little knowledge of Josh and to those who do not know me, your journey will be easier because you have no opinion at this stage (you may develop one later, hopefully a good one). I must also say that there is no desire from me to change your religious believes so if you are a Muslim, Hindu and many other religious groups out there, you are not being asked to run from your family or deny anyone. But I want you to understand that as a spiritual being, I personally have chosen Christ and my answers to any issue will finally be resolved from the perspective of what will Jesus Christ do?
Relationships
What is the answer to relationships? Why is it so difficult and complicated? Yet it is one of the most beautiful and fulfilling things a human being can ever be in because of our very nature as social being. The thing about relationships is, both of you have different upbringing and probably different perspective just by being of different genders, there is the man who in the past few years before you came was drinking and hanging out with the boys whenever he wanted to and there is the woman who dreamt of perfect love and met up with the girls whenever she wanted to. Already from my last sentence as you can see, the man did not think of love but the woman did and I am also of the opinion that women mature faster than men with regards to relationship. What I mean by this is that women are ready to settle and accept a man as a life partner faster than the man is.
Part of the problem for ladies is that the man did the chasing and convinced the lady of his good intentions and when she gives up and agrees suddenly the gentleman is not sure anymore (that is not necessarily true but it sometimes feels like that to the ladies). The man has simply become too comfortable in the relationship, so he appears nonchalant. On the other hand, sometimes a man could do everything to impress a lady and she agrees but after a while she comes out with “am no more in love with him” (this also is not necessarily true but when you say that to a man it becomes his nightmare). The lady could be facing new challenges that she feels this man can’t handle, hence her new desire to move on.
And of course the above may not be the problem with your relationships, it could simply be deceptions the fact that one of the partners never loved the other but has ascribed the word “love” to their desire of sexual pleasure. Or it could be that neither of the above example is an issue for you but you will certainly fall into the category of one partner cheating on you, either sexually, emotionally or financially. And if all the above does not fit you then you must be in a relationship of aggression either by physical or emotional. Now if none of the above defines your past or present relationships then I want to welcome you to the renewed life or to congratulate both of you on your disciple to abide in any situation.
The decision to abide in any situation (apart from physical abuse) and be renewed in your mind to understand and accept your partners short comings is the base of a good relationship and also the answer on how to have a good relationship. When you first met him/her your initial thought if genuine was good and of hope and probably a rush of some sort of excitement that made you sing the hallelujah chorus. So what happened?
Let’s assume this person is for real not the one who has conveniently ascribed “love” to lust ( and if you what to know ladies, just look into his eyes and hold out, don’t give in to that desire, we know how much you want to! We all want to...). As I was saying, if he/she is for real, then it is important that you let them know who you really are. Yes the real you that would even scare your mother! Yes that person! Not the nice person you present to everyone, but the real deal. Now if they walk away then they were not for you. Nothing will help you more than truth, and if the person chooses to lie to themselves, it will not last so you will not have to worry about getting rid of them.
The way you start your relationship is the way it’s going to be till the end, there may be a few bumpy rides but it will settle, hence my suggestion that the truth must be told. The problem sometimes of truth is that the person hearing it may not be able to handle it even if they have asked for the truth, so be prepared to lose out in your honesty. So to at least start well is important, for a good relationship you will need the real you, a goal for the relationship greater than both of you, faith based answers for the bumpy ride you will encounter all sealed in an envelope of genuine love for each.
I have often heard people say, love is not enough. I beg to differ, if they know the power of love, what it means to love someone without blame or moral high ground. Or if you try to understand the love of God for us, in that while we did not deserve it he sent his son to die for us. Now if you even have a tiny sense of that, then I must say love for your partner is definitely enough to hold that relationship together. Of cause, make sure to include the italic ingredients in the last paragraph.
more to come.....
The life we live is both spiritual and physical, accepting this will help you understand why most things happen and why what you do about it matters. Without accepting this, you are merely a wandering empty shell, because all you do is wake up, go to work or whatever you do, eat, sleep and wake up again. Repeating such aimless wander does not leave me with great excitement to be human. Having accepted that we are both spiritual and physical beings, it becomes necessary to consider which is more important.
Why should one be more important than the other? Because the important part of any human being determines how they react to things, it affects their perspective on everyday life. Based on my little life experience I would say it is greater to be more spiritual than physical. Having agreed to be a more spiritual being, I immediately have an identity of sort, a sense of where I belong, a sense of who I am and whose I am. Knowing who you are makes life a little easier, for example the fact that you know your name makes it easier to answer if someone calls you and when you have your name written on a property you can calm that property to be yours. Names help us identify ourselves and our properties. So it is spiritually, knowing who you are will help you resolve any issue that troubles you.
It’s also important to know which spiritual identity we need. For me that question is simple as I indentify with Christ. And this is the major difference from being religious and wanting to know Christ personally, not as a study of Christology but to have a personal relationship. So then, what is the problem you have that God cannot understand? God understands, because we know that Christ was in human flesh and had full understanding as a human being, feeling the pain, the gossip about you, the being broke, the lose, the anger of being let down, the desire not to forgive those who may have hurt you, a sense of weight on your shoulder, loneliness, jobless and many more issues that trouble us.
At this juncture, I would ask you let go of most religious preconceptions that you may have from your religious group and walk with me, believing that the spiritual life in Christ is greater than I the writer. For those that feel they know me, well let go of that little knowledge of Josh and to those who do not know me, your journey will be easier because you have no opinion at this stage (you may develop one later, hopefully a good one). I must also say that there is no desire from me to change your religious believes so if you are a Muslim, Hindu and many other religious groups out there, you are not being asked to run from your family or deny anyone. But I want you to understand that as a spiritual being, I personally have chosen Christ and my answers to any issue will finally be resolved from the perspective of what will Jesus Christ do?
Relationships
What is the answer to relationships? Why is it so difficult and complicated? Yet it is one of the most beautiful and fulfilling things a human being can ever be in because of our very nature as social being. The thing about relationships is, both of you have different upbringing and probably different perspective just by being of different genders, there is the man who in the past few years before you came was drinking and hanging out with the boys whenever he wanted to and there is the woman who dreamt of perfect love and met up with the girls whenever she wanted to. Already from my last sentence as you can see, the man did not think of love but the woman did and I am also of the opinion that women mature faster than men with regards to relationship. What I mean by this is that women are ready to settle and accept a man as a life partner faster than the man is.
Part of the problem for ladies is that the man did the chasing and convinced the lady of his good intentions and when she gives up and agrees suddenly the gentleman is not sure anymore (that is not necessarily true but it sometimes feels like that to the ladies). The man has simply become too comfortable in the relationship, so he appears nonchalant. On the other hand, sometimes a man could do everything to impress a lady and she agrees but after a while she comes out with “am no more in love with him” (this also is not necessarily true but when you say that to a man it becomes his nightmare). The lady could be facing new challenges that she feels this man can’t handle, hence her new desire to move on.
And of course the above may not be the problem with your relationships, it could simply be deceptions the fact that one of the partners never loved the other but has ascribed the word “love” to their desire of sexual pleasure. Or it could be that neither of the above example is an issue for you but you will certainly fall into the category of one partner cheating on you, either sexually, emotionally or financially. And if all the above does not fit you then you must be in a relationship of aggression either by physical or emotional. Now if none of the above defines your past or present relationships then I want to welcome you to the renewed life or to congratulate both of you on your disciple to abide in any situation.
The decision to abide in any situation (apart from physical abuse) and be renewed in your mind to understand and accept your partners short comings is the base of a good relationship and also the answer on how to have a good relationship. When you first met him/her your initial thought if genuine was good and of hope and probably a rush of some sort of excitement that made you sing the hallelujah chorus. So what happened?
Let’s assume this person is for real not the one who has conveniently ascribed “love” to lust ( and if you what to know ladies, just look into his eyes and hold out, don’t give in to that desire, we know how much you want to! We all want to...). As I was saying, if he/she is for real, then it is important that you let them know who you really are. Yes the real you that would even scare your mother! Yes that person! Not the nice person you present to everyone, but the real deal. Now if they walk away then they were not for you. Nothing will help you more than truth, and if the person chooses to lie to themselves, it will not last so you will not have to worry about getting rid of them.
The way you start your relationship is the way it’s going to be till the end, there may be a few bumpy rides but it will settle, hence my suggestion that the truth must be told. The problem sometimes of truth is that the person hearing it may not be able to handle it even if they have asked for the truth, so be prepared to lose out in your honesty. So to at least start well is important, for a good relationship you will need the real you, a goal for the relationship greater than both of you, faith based answers for the bumpy ride you will encounter all sealed in an envelope of genuine love for each.
I have often heard people say, love is not enough. I beg to differ, if they know the power of love, what it means to love someone without blame or moral high ground. Or if you try to understand the love of God for us, in that while we did not deserve it he sent his son to die for us. Now if you even have a tiny sense of that, then I must say love for your partner is definitely enough to hold that relationship together. Of cause, make sure to include the italic ingredients in the last paragraph.
more to come.....
Thursday, 23 April 2009
Have a break!
Just a little break before I start my answers for some of life’s issues.
Wow! this picture is I and Helena at the Dockland beach festival; I was the MC and instructor. Pictures remind us about life sometimes at the very best times Wow!!!!!!!
Is life not beautiful? this first picture is a cultural look at one the African masquerade groups at the Festival of African arts and culture I organised in Dublin
Wow! this picture is I and Helena at the Dockland beach festival; I was the MC and instructor. Pictures remind us about life sometimes at the very best times Wow!!!!!!!
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
Looking for Answers
Intro
After my blog on Men and Women, I am happy to say over 100 people in less than a week read it so thank you. I didn't know I knew that amount of people interested in what I had to say..haha.... But my next topic may not be as controversial but I believe more relevant now than ever!
No matter the issue, whether it is Trust, emotions, relationship, finance or family we all need answers and sometimes the most difficult thing in life is the need to know what to do about your situation. Even for people who have faith in God, it is very difficult because you sometimes ask yourself why God didn’t stop what we are all going through or at least give us the answers and just make life a little easier for us.
Believe me I buy into that sometimes, once in a while we all question, whether you say you are religious or not ( not that I call myself religious, because my believe is not bound by religion but by the over whelming conviction of the very existence of Christ in my life). But I am not sorry to say that everyone, religious or not, Christian or not must sometimes but angry with the sense of lack of answers as you go through pain, uncertainties and financial difficulties. You just wonder why it has to be you again!
What can I say that will wipe off the pain you are going through? Absolutely nothing! What can a little blog like this do to help heal the pain? Nothing! So why am I writing about it then. Well as they say, a problem shared is a problem halved and to also share with you the answers I have found not in myself but in my faith, so together we can all walk this walk of life in Joy, to find comfort in our time of trouble, knowing that every problem has a solution. I want to share the confidence I have in God to take care of things no matter how bad it looks.
Having just made such a confident comment about God, it can sometimes be very difficult to share this confidence with people. For the very simply reason that I am as practical as they come in life, I believe in solutions that I can see, plan it and deliver. This is why sharing my thought with you and going through difficult time is a challenge in itself. But must we give up on life? No Never! What is it that is such a big challenge or problem that we cannot survive? Better still what is it that is of such magnitude that God is not able to resolve?
We may be faint but not dead, we may be beaten but not destroyed and we may be confused but have not lost our mind minds. I want to invite you to look closely at your life and start with the positive that you have long forgotten because of the present problem. Your life today is as a result of the success you have enjoyed in the past, the very issue troubling you now will not kill you but will set you on a coalition course with your destiny.When the eagle comes against head wind it locks its wings and surge towards the coming wind to gain momentum for height. Now that should describe you, your search for answers sometimes require you to overcome the problem rather than run away from it. Consider yourself unique and strong enough for that which comes your way, for whatever the problem takes from you it cannot take the things that define you, faith, hope and love.
For, if we keep these things to our hearts, we will be able to smile, forgive, care, refresh and be able to look forward to tomorrow. While I try to provide my answers the best way I can, I would like to say that most answers will end up being faith based and challenging to your believe that there is no God or that your God is different from mine. Well, then humour me and keep reading, but if at any stage you find a little truth and relief from pain it will help me and many others who agree with me if you would drop me a line by email or simply make a comment. So now let’s jump into the waters of my solution and answers, bearing in mind that answers and solutions do not eliminate problems but merely serve as a tool to help us overcome problems when they come.
I have set for you the bases for the following answers coming soon in the next few days.......
After my blog on Men and Women, I am happy to say over 100 people in less than a week read it so thank you. I didn't know I knew that amount of people interested in what I had to say..haha.... But my next topic may not be as controversial but I believe more relevant now than ever!
No matter the issue, whether it is Trust, emotions, relationship, finance or family we all need answers and sometimes the most difficult thing in life is the need to know what to do about your situation. Even for people who have faith in God, it is very difficult because you sometimes ask yourself why God didn’t stop what we are all going through or at least give us the answers and just make life a little easier for us.
Believe me I buy into that sometimes, once in a while we all question, whether you say you are religious or not ( not that I call myself religious, because my believe is not bound by religion but by the over whelming conviction of the very existence of Christ in my life). But I am not sorry to say that everyone, religious or not, Christian or not must sometimes but angry with the sense of lack of answers as you go through pain, uncertainties and financial difficulties. You just wonder why it has to be you again!
What can I say that will wipe off the pain you are going through? Absolutely nothing! What can a little blog like this do to help heal the pain? Nothing! So why am I writing about it then. Well as they say, a problem shared is a problem halved and to also share with you the answers I have found not in myself but in my faith, so together we can all walk this walk of life in Joy, to find comfort in our time of trouble, knowing that every problem has a solution. I want to share the confidence I have in God to take care of things no matter how bad it looks.
Having just made such a confident comment about God, it can sometimes be very difficult to share this confidence with people. For the very simply reason that I am as practical as they come in life, I believe in solutions that I can see, plan it and deliver. This is why sharing my thought with you and going through difficult time is a challenge in itself. But must we give up on life? No Never! What is it that is such a big challenge or problem that we cannot survive? Better still what is it that is of such magnitude that God is not able to resolve?
We may be faint but not dead, we may be beaten but not destroyed and we may be confused but have not lost our mind minds. I want to invite you to look closely at your life and start with the positive that you have long forgotten because of the present problem. Your life today is as a result of the success you have enjoyed in the past, the very issue troubling you now will not kill you but will set you on a coalition course with your destiny.When the eagle comes against head wind it locks its wings and surge towards the coming wind to gain momentum for height. Now that should describe you, your search for answers sometimes require you to overcome the problem rather than run away from it. Consider yourself unique and strong enough for that which comes your way, for whatever the problem takes from you it cannot take the things that define you, faith, hope and love.
For, if we keep these things to our hearts, we will be able to smile, forgive, care, refresh and be able to look forward to tomorrow. While I try to provide my answers the best way I can, I would like to say that most answers will end up being faith based and challenging to your believe that there is no God or that your God is different from mine. Well, then humour me and keep reading, but if at any stage you find a little truth and relief from pain it will help me and many others who agree with me if you would drop me a line by email or simply make a comment. So now let’s jump into the waters of my solution and answers, bearing in mind that answers and solutions do not eliminate problems but merely serve as a tool to help us overcome problems when they come.
I have set for you the bases for the following answers coming soon in the next few days.......
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
……..Conclusion
A perfect emotion as created in us by God is simple; it does not have any emotional distinction expressed by women or men. This is one of the greatest injustice our so called civilization or modern world has visited on us, I don’t know who to blame but we didn’t have to believe the crap they were selling to us, who said men can’t wear pink, who said men can’t hug each other, who said boys should not go to dance classes. Who has done us such injustice and left us with such emptiness of heart.
So, while we would all love to say one is better than the other it may be better to accept that we are different and must make room for each other. The peace of God and the emotional balance that we have from Him is so selfless, so little about ourselves but more what we do to others emotionally.
In a relationship consider your partner as much in need as you are, avoid putting your partner, friend or family member in an emotional box to fit the behaviour of their gender. Avoid having a preconception of who you think they are.
Take a step back from everyone’s high and mighty opinion of your ex-partners because you are the person that spent part of your life with them and this makes you better placed to know them more than anyone else. Make a decision on the person yourself because you actually know what to do but your search for emotional support can go too far. On the other if we must support people emotionally, then support them in the comfort of friendship not as a judge and avoid trying to live your own pain through them.
I hope you have been able to consider some issues from the above. I will have my new topic (Looking for answers) up in a few hours but before then don't forget to visit the Irish salsa congress website and be part of this wonderful event that has kept Ireland on the Salsa dance map for 10 years http://www.irishsalsacongress.com/
A perfect emotion as created in us by God is simple; it does not have any emotional distinction expressed by women or men. This is one of the greatest injustice our so called civilization or modern world has visited on us, I don’t know who to blame but we didn’t have to believe the crap they were selling to us, who said men can’t wear pink, who said men can’t hug each other, who said boys should not go to dance classes. Who has done us such injustice and left us with such emptiness of heart.
So, while we would all love to say one is better than the other it may be better to accept that we are different and must make room for each other. The peace of God and the emotional balance that we have from Him is so selfless, so little about ourselves but more what we do to others emotionally.
In a relationship consider your partner as much in need as you are, avoid putting your partner, friend or family member in an emotional box to fit the behaviour of their gender. Avoid having a preconception of who you think they are.
Take a step back from everyone’s high and mighty opinion of your ex-partners because you are the person that spent part of your life with them and this makes you better placed to know them more than anyone else. Make a decision on the person yourself because you actually know what to do but your search for emotional support can go too far. On the other if we must support people emotionally, then support them in the comfort of friendship not as a judge and avoid trying to live your own pain through them.
I hope you have been able to consider some issues from the above. I will have my new topic (Looking for answers) up in a few hours but before then don't forget to visit the Irish salsa congress website and be part of this wonderful event that has kept Ireland on the Salsa dance map for 10 years http://www.irishsalsacongress.com/
Thursday, 16 April 2009
Men and Women
Intro - Let me say first I swear sometimes (but I will try not to as much as I can) and really am writing this how I would have said it if you were in front of me. I have also created my own terms or names for some of my definitions. Enjoy!
If someone said to me that God was having a laugh when he created Men and Women, I would have believed them because our views are so fundamentally different that it is actually funny, but not if you are the one going through crap with either gender. But since I actually believe in God and feel a sense of God I wouldn’t agree with the above, so have you ever wondered who is more complicated Men or Women?
Man – wants to sleep
Woman – need a cuddle
Man – wants food
Woman – wants dinner
Man – just want to F@*&
Woman – wants to make love
Man – trys to understand women by seeing if he can score as soon as possible
Woman – reads ladies magazines on “10 ways to keep your man”
Trust
I could go on forever, but really I want to ask, how a woman can read ladies magazine written by a woman on how to keep your man. How did she come to believe that another woman can tell more about a man? It’s simple, it’s called trust woman trust other women when it comes to talking about men not necessarily that they trust each other on other issues ( Like, is your very handsome boy friend coming over to say hello to us when you are away)
Since women believe in what I call “emotional identification trust”, they transfer that same believe to the man when they are in love with a man. Number one lesson ladies you CAN NOT DO THAT. Now this is not to say that men cannot be trusted, far from it they can but you have to make a little room for what I call the “Male Factor”
Men on the other hand trust you as long as you do not give them any reason for concern, men work on practical things not emotions. This is not to say that men are not emotional but on the contrary, I actually believe that they are as emotional as women, I will come to that later. For a man, trust is a simple and constant display of your loyalty; it is defined by what he sees regardless of what he thinks (with exceptions like, over bearing men and jealous bastards) Men do not transfer trust, they see it to believe it. And I call this “evidential trust”
So both genders can trust but in different ways therefore no gender should try and impose their version of trust on the other. Women your trust is “emotional identification trust” and men your trust is “evidential trust”. Consider this next time you are about to argue with your partner.
Emotion
while there is a school of thought that women are more emotional than men, I am of the school of thought that women seem more emotional than men because of what I call “expressive emotion” while the men have what I call “passive emotion”
Take for example, when a relationship ends the woman would have friends call over and suddenly all her friends would remember the guy was a bastard, useless and a complete idiot. They massage her emotion and tell her how great she is, they even take her out for a girls night out and continue the male bashing sections and God help the guy if she has a friend who has not been dating for a long time (you know the type, every girl has one of them). The ladies would support her through her crying and emotional roller coaster and to crown it all the same ladies still find her another man or at least approve another man, oh this is after they have vowed never again!
A man on the other hand pretends he is fine and is over it already, so his male friends don’t call him because somehow in their heads he is perfectly ok. When they come around they take him out not because he is hurting no…. no…. just for him to make up the number, at this stage the guy now begins to fuck anything he finds, pay for or just throw himself into a bottle of something because he is in denial of the hurt he is going through. All this, simply because he does not want to appear weak to the woman, for some of the lucky guys they have a rebound relationship. Now he is a real bastard!
The advantage of the female “expressive emotion” is that it works well but not the best while the “passive emotion” of the man is ultimately destructive but for the short term he will save face and plays along. But I hope that as I deal with this issue, I will help bring it to open discussion that a man is allowed to cry, feel sad, miss his girl, say sorry and still be a man. I want to challenge everyone to tell me when last you saw a man cry, yet that is one of the most powerful physical emotional display of sadness or joy
While I have identified the problem with the male emotion, the problem with the female emotion is that after all that bashing of the man it drives the woman further away from reconciliation to a man. That is why women are the best at long term rebound; she is dating Peter but thinks she is dating Patrick, so every mistake made by Patrick in the past is taken out on Peter in the present. The end result is a relationship of stress, she get confused as to why it’s happening because she really loves him but cannot explain why he does not behave in a certain way, at this stage she is beginning to doubt herself and fear sets in and then comes the common phrase “men are all the same”. That sentence is the most ignorant comment some stupid person came up with (maybe a feminist). That comment allows people to give up easily, put every man in a box and disregard a fundamental human behaviour the ability to change. Have you also noticed that comment does not sound right when used for women?
A perfect emotion......... to be continued in the next few days, let me give you time to take it in
If someone said to me that God was having a laugh when he created Men and Women, I would have believed them because our views are so fundamentally different that it is actually funny, but not if you are the one going through crap with either gender. But since I actually believe in God and feel a sense of God I wouldn’t agree with the above, so have you ever wondered who is more complicated Men or Women?
Man – wants to sleep
Woman – need a cuddle
Man – wants food
Woman – wants dinner
Man – just want to F@*&
Woman – wants to make love
Man – trys to understand women by seeing if he can score as soon as possible
Woman – reads ladies magazines on “10 ways to keep your man”
Trust
I could go on forever, but really I want to ask, how a woman can read ladies magazine written by a woman on how to keep your man. How did she come to believe that another woman can tell more about a man? It’s simple, it’s called trust woman trust other women when it comes to talking about men not necessarily that they trust each other on other issues ( Like, is your very handsome boy friend coming over to say hello to us when you are away)
Since women believe in what I call “emotional identification trust”, they transfer that same believe to the man when they are in love with a man. Number one lesson ladies you CAN NOT DO THAT. Now this is not to say that men cannot be trusted, far from it they can but you have to make a little room for what I call the “Male Factor”
Men on the other hand trust you as long as you do not give them any reason for concern, men work on practical things not emotions. This is not to say that men are not emotional but on the contrary, I actually believe that they are as emotional as women, I will come to that later. For a man, trust is a simple and constant display of your loyalty; it is defined by what he sees regardless of what he thinks (with exceptions like, over bearing men and jealous bastards) Men do not transfer trust, they see it to believe it. And I call this “evidential trust”
So both genders can trust but in different ways therefore no gender should try and impose their version of trust on the other. Women your trust is “emotional identification trust” and men your trust is “evidential trust”. Consider this next time you are about to argue with your partner.
Emotion
while there is a school of thought that women are more emotional than men, I am of the school of thought that women seem more emotional than men because of what I call “expressive emotion” while the men have what I call “passive emotion”
Take for example, when a relationship ends the woman would have friends call over and suddenly all her friends would remember the guy was a bastard, useless and a complete idiot. They massage her emotion and tell her how great she is, they even take her out for a girls night out and continue the male bashing sections and God help the guy if she has a friend who has not been dating for a long time (you know the type, every girl has one of them). The ladies would support her through her crying and emotional roller coaster and to crown it all the same ladies still find her another man or at least approve another man, oh this is after they have vowed never again!
A man on the other hand pretends he is fine and is over it already, so his male friends don’t call him because somehow in their heads he is perfectly ok. When they come around they take him out not because he is hurting no…. no…. just for him to make up the number, at this stage the guy now begins to fuck anything he finds, pay for or just throw himself into a bottle of something because he is in denial of the hurt he is going through. All this, simply because he does not want to appear weak to the woman, for some of the lucky guys they have a rebound relationship. Now he is a real bastard!
The advantage of the female “expressive emotion” is that it works well but not the best while the “passive emotion” of the man is ultimately destructive but for the short term he will save face and plays along. But I hope that as I deal with this issue, I will help bring it to open discussion that a man is allowed to cry, feel sad, miss his girl, say sorry and still be a man. I want to challenge everyone to tell me when last you saw a man cry, yet that is one of the most powerful physical emotional display of sadness or joy
While I have identified the problem with the male emotion, the problem with the female emotion is that after all that bashing of the man it drives the woman further away from reconciliation to a man. That is why women are the best at long term rebound; she is dating Peter but thinks she is dating Patrick, so every mistake made by Patrick in the past is taken out on Peter in the present. The end result is a relationship of stress, she get confused as to why it’s happening because she really loves him but cannot explain why he does not behave in a certain way, at this stage she is beginning to doubt herself and fear sets in and then comes the common phrase “men are all the same”. That sentence is the most ignorant comment some stupid person came up with (maybe a feminist). That comment allows people to give up easily, put every man in a box and disregard a fundamental human behaviour the ability to change. Have you also noticed that comment does not sound right when used for women?
A perfect emotion......... to be continued in the next few days, let me give you time to take it in
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Am here now!
I would like to welcome everyone to my blog, well well well those who know me will know I have a lot to say and sometimes the things i say may not make you happy but i gurantee it will make you think.
I also want to say if i am wrong I will admit it but not without a fight....because before I write I will check it out either based on my faith, fact or just general info. But I promise I will admit if I get it wrong.
This blog will be about, dance, politics, men, women and of course God. No matter what i write it will be bloody real and you can reply if you want but haha...ha i can remove it if i don't like it....well get yours!
At some stage i may write about my little life and how its going and becoming a bigger life in christ and how i struggle, fight and over come some of the painful and difficult situations in my life. But all in all there are certainly some good situations to write about.
So thank you for checking out my blog and please return soon as I start with a firey subject of men and women.
I also want to say if i am wrong I will admit it but not without a fight....because before I write I will check it out either based on my faith, fact or just general info. But I promise I will admit if I get it wrong.
This blog will be about, dance, politics, men, women and of course God. No matter what i write it will be bloody real and you can reply if you want but haha...ha i can remove it if i don't like it....well get yours!
At some stage i may write about my little life and how its going and becoming a bigger life in christ and how i struggle, fight and over come some of the painful and difficult situations in my life. But all in all there are certainly some good situations to write about.
So thank you for checking out my blog and please return soon as I start with a firey subject of men and women.
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