Have a break!

Just a little break before I start my answers for some of life’s issues.

Is life not beautiful? this first picture is a cultural look at one the African masquerade groups at the Festival of African arts and culture I organised in Dublin

Wow! this picture is I and Helena at the Dockland beach festival; I was the MC and instructor. Pictures remind us about life sometimes at the very best times Wow!!!!!!!

Looking for Answers

Intro
After my blog on Men and Women, I am happy to say over 100 people in less than a week read it so thank you. I didn't know I knew that amount of people interested in what I had to say..haha.... But my next topic may not be as controversial but I believe more relevant now than ever!

No matter the issue, whether it is Trust, emotions, relationship, finance or family we all need answers and sometimes the most difficult thing in life is the need to know what to do about your situation. Even for people who have faith in God, it is very difficult because you sometimes ask yourself why God didn’t stop what we are all going through or at least give us the answers and just make life a little easier for us.

Believe me I buy into that sometimes, once in a while we all question, whether you say you are religious or not ( not that I call myself religious, because my believe is not bound by religion but by the over whelming conviction of the very existence of Christ in my life). But I am not sorry to say that everyone, religious or not, Christian or not must sometimes but angry with the sense of lack of answers as you go through pain, uncertainties and financial difficulties. You just wonder why it has to be you again!

What can I say that will wipe off the pain you are going through? Absolutely nothing! What can a little blog like this do to help heal the pain? Nothing! So why am I writing about it then. Well as they say, a problem shared is a problem halved and to also share with you the answers I have found not in myself but in my faith, so together we can all walk this walk of life in Joy, to find comfort in our time of trouble, knowing that every problem has a solution. I want to share the confidence I have in God to take care of things no matter how bad it looks.

Having just made such a confident comment about God, it can sometimes be very difficult to share this confidence with people. For the very simply reason that I am as practical as they come in life, I believe in solutions that I can see, plan it and deliver. This is why sharing my thought with you and going through difficult time is a challenge in itself. But must we give up on life? No Never! What is it that is such a big challenge or problem that we cannot survive? Better still what is it that is of such magnitude that God is not able to resolve?

We may be faint but not dead, we may be beaten but not destroyed and we may be confused but have not lost our mind minds. I want to invite you to look closely at your life and start with the positive that you have long forgotten because of the present problem. Your life today is as a result of the success you have enjoyed in the past, the very issue troubling you now will not kill you but will set you on a coalition course with your destiny.When the eagle comes against head wind it locks its wings and surge towards the coming wind to gain momentum for height. Now that should describe you, your search for answers sometimes require you to overcome the problem rather than run away from it. Consider yourself unique and strong enough for that which comes your way, for whatever the problem takes from you it cannot take the things that define you, faith, hope and love.

For, if we keep these things to our hearts, we will be able to smile, forgive, care, refresh and be able to look forward to tomorrow. While I try to provide my answers the best way I can, I would like to say that most answers will end up being faith based and challenging to your believe that there is no God or that your God is different from mine. Well, then humour me and keep reading, but if at any stage you find a little truth and relief from pain it will help me and many others who agree with me if you would drop me a line by email or simply make a comment. So now let’s jump into the waters of my solution and answers, bearing in mind that answers and solutions do not eliminate problems but merely serve as a tool to help us overcome problems when they come.

I have set for you the bases for the following answers coming soon in the next few days.......

……..Conclusion
A perfect emotion as created in us by God is simple; it does not have any emotional distinction expressed by women or men. This is one of the greatest injustice our so called civilization or modern world has visited on us, I don’t know who to blame but we didn’t have to believe the crap they were selling to us, who said men can’t wear pink, who said men can’t hug each other, who said boys should not go to dance classes. Who has done us such injustice and left us with such emptiness of heart.

So, while we would all love to say one is better than the other it may be better to accept that we are different and must make room for each other. The peace of God and the emotional balance that we have from Him is so selfless, so little about ourselves but more what we do to others emotionally.

In a relationship consider your partner as much in need as you are, avoid putting your partner, friend or family member in an emotional box to fit the behaviour of their gender. Avoid having a preconception of who you think they are.

Take a step back from everyone’s high and mighty opinion of your ex-partners because you are the person that spent part of your life with them and this makes you better placed to know them more than anyone else. Make a decision on the person yourself because you actually know what to do but your search for emotional support can go too far. On the other if we must support people emotionally, then support them in the comfort of friendship not as a judge and avoid trying to live your own pain through them.

I hope you have been able to consider some issues from the above. I will have my new topic (Looking for answers) up in a few hours but before then don't forget to visit the Irish salsa congress website and be part of this wonderful event that has kept Ireland on the Salsa dance map for 10 years http://www.irishsalsacongress.com/

Men and Women

Intro - Let me say first I swear sometimes (but I will try not to as much as I can) and really am writing this how I would have said it if you were in front of me. I have also created my own terms or names for some of my definitions. Enjoy!

If someone said to me that God was having a laugh when he created Men and Women, I would have believed them because our views are so fundamentally different that it is actually funny, but not if you are the one going through crap with either gender. But since I actually believe in God and feel a sense of God I wouldn’t agree with the above, so have you ever wondered who is more complicated Men or Women?

Man – wants to sleep
Woman – need a cuddle
Man – wants food
Woman – wants dinner
Man – just want to F@*&
Woman – wants to make love
Man – trys to understand women by seeing if he can score as soon as possible
Woman – reads ladies magazines on “10 ways to keep your man”

Trust
I could go on forever, but really I want to ask, how a woman can read ladies magazine written by a woman on how to keep your man. How did she come to believe that another woman can tell more about a man? It’s simple, it’s called trust woman trust other women when it comes to talking about men not necessarily that they trust each other on other issues ( Like, is your very handsome boy friend coming over to say hello to us when you are away)

Since women believe in what I call “emotional identification trust”, they transfer that same believe to the man when they are in love with a man. Number one lesson ladies you CAN NOT DO THAT. Now this is not to say that men cannot be trusted, far from it they can but you have to make a little room for what I call the “Male Factor”

Men on the other hand trust you as long as you do not give them any reason for concern, men work on practical things not emotions. This is not to say that men are not emotional but on the contrary, I actually believe that they are as emotional as women, I will come to that later. For a man, trust is a simple and constant display of your loyalty; it is defined by what he sees regardless of what he thinks (with exceptions like, over bearing men and jealous bastards) Men do not transfer trust, they see it to believe it. And I call this “evidential trust”

So both genders can trust but in different ways therefore no gender should try and impose their version of trust on the other. Women your trust is “emotional identification trust” and men your trust is “evidential trust”. Consider this next time you are about to argue with your partner.

Emotion
while there is a school of thought that women are more emotional than men, I am of the school of thought that women seem more emotional than men because of what I call “expressive emotion” while the men have what I call “passive emotion”

Take for example, when a relationship ends the woman would have friends call over and suddenly all her friends would remember the guy was a bastard, useless and a complete idiot. They massage her emotion and tell her how great she is, they even take her out for a girls night out and continue the male bashing sections and God help the guy if she has a friend who has not been dating for a long time (you know the type, every girl has one of them). The ladies would support her through her crying and emotional roller coaster and to crown it all the same ladies still find her another man or at least approve another man, oh this is after they have vowed never again!

A man on the other hand pretends he is fine and is over it already, so his male friends don’t call him because somehow in their heads he is perfectly ok. When they come around they take him out not because he is hurting no…. no…. just for him to make up the number, at this stage the guy now begins to fuck anything he finds, pay for or just throw himself into a bottle of something because he is in denial of the hurt he is going through. All this, simply because he does not want to appear weak to the woman, for some of the lucky guys they have a rebound relationship. Now he is a real bastard!

The advantage of the female “expressive emotion” is that it works well but not the best while the “passive emotion” of the man is ultimately destructive but for the short term he will save face and plays along. But I hope that as I deal with this issue, I will help bring it to open discussion that a man is allowed to cry, feel sad, miss his girl, say sorry and still be a man. I want to challenge everyone to tell me when last you saw a man cry, yet that is one of the most powerful physical emotional display of sadness or joy

While I have identified the problem with the male emotion, the problem with the female emotion is that after all that bashing of the man it drives the woman further away from reconciliation to a man. That is why women are the best at long term rebound; she is dating Peter but thinks she is dating Patrick, so every mistake made by Patrick in the past is taken out on Peter in the present. The end result is a relationship of stress, she get confused as to why it’s happening because she really loves him but cannot explain why he does not behave in a certain way, at this stage she is beginning to doubt herself and fear sets in and then comes the common phrase “men are all the same”. That sentence is the most ignorant comment some stupid person came up with (maybe a feminist). That comment allows people to give up easily, put every man in a box and disregard a fundamental human behaviour the ability to change. Have you also noticed that comment does not sound right when used for women?

A perfect emotion......... to be continued in the next few days, let me give you time to take it in

Am here now!

I would like to welcome everyone to my blog, well well well those who know me will know I have a lot to say and sometimes the things i say may not make you happy but i gurantee it will make you think.

I also want to say if i am wrong I will admit it but not without a fight....because before I write I will check it out either based on my faith, fact or just general info. But I promise I will admit if I get it wrong.

This blog will be about, dance, politics, men, women and of course God. No matter what i write it will be bloody real and you can reply if you want but haha...ha i can remove it if i don't like it....well get yours!

At some stage i may write about my little life and how its going and becoming a bigger life in christ and how i struggle, fight and over come some of the painful and difficult situations in my life. But all in all there are certainly some good situations to write about.

So thank you for checking out my blog and please return soon as I start with a firey subject of men and women.