Hello!.. Guys it’s me again! First I would like to say sorry to all of you who have been reading my blog and have been waiting for something new to come up. Sorry for not writing sooner, I guess I was kind of waiting for that special thing to happen and trigger me to write and as always I write real life situations or at least I share my little experiences in life wrapped up in some kind of wisdom..hahaha
Most of my writings in the past had been about men and women and the intricacies that come with that or better still, relationships from the man’s perspective which is so often forgotten about. But with this blog I want to deal with an issue that is affecting everyone right now and that is financial difficulty or as the government would put it “recession”
Everyone is in a hurry to blame the bankers but the problem with that is that the bankers did not force you to take a mortgage or loan. We are quick to blame the government but we could have simply looked closely at their policies before voting for them but instead we were trapped by the political division that we have come to accept. People have even started blaming immigration for the problems. The thing is no matter whom we blame or what your opinion is, the truth is we are here now and there will be varying levels of casualties. From the millionaires that will become simple men like you and I, to the hard working man/woman who will lose his/her job.
But there are also those who will keep their jobs and some who will make money in this difficult time. Even though these people exist, the general mood of the country or someone they know who lost a lot has made them unhappy too. So are we to remain in this sadness for as long as there is recession? Are we to have our happiness denied us because of the situation? Is our life only linked to our financial ability? Could there possibly be anything else that can make us happy? As always I ask the question and I try to answer it!
Pregnancy
We all need to be pregnant to overcome this.. Yes! I said it; we all need to get pregnant. I know what you are thinking right now! Has Josh gone crazy? There is no money and he is taking about pregnancy? Hahaha.. Well hold on! I am talking about pregnancy, yes! But not pregnancy as you know it. I would like to define what I mean by pregnancy.
I believe that everyone understands pregnancy; even men know what it is to say someone is pregnant. The feelings are different but a man knows what pregnancy looks like and how to treat a pregnant woman with care. So let’s define this pregnancy issue, I believe that when a woman is pregnant there is so much care taken to ensure she is doing well because everyone accepts that she is carrying a precious gift “ Life!”. The life we see her carrying is real but we are still so careful and protective of her and the life she is carrying inside her, we believe in this need to handle her with care and somewhere is our heart we “hope” everything will be ok.
I would like to bring your attention to the word HOPE and yet we see the LIFE in her but still we HOPE that everything will be ok. If you don’t mind I would like you to replace the LIFE you see in her with a “PLAN/PROJECT” that you have already started or JOB or your INTERVIEW or the very fact that you are STILL ALIVE.
Now if you read the above sentence again, replacing LIFE with PLAN and applying hope in the same contest is will read “The plan we have is real but we are still so careful and protective of our plan, we believe in this need to handle it with care and somewhere is our heart we “hope” everything will be ok”. So my definition of pregnancy in this contest is that everyone has a hope based on a plan, project, job, belief or desire and this very ability to hope is what I define as pregnancy.
Therefore, even though we hope that things will be ok, we do not have the certainty that it will be fine. This is the position that most of us find ourselves in life; it is at the premature level that most people give up on things. This is the most difficult time, a time that we should persevere; hold on to whatever it is we so hoped for. It could be the man/woman you love so much and they are just not being fair to you, to the big life changing decisions that makes you feel the world is going to come down on your head, the loss of a seemingly perfect job, the hope to find love someday while it looks like no man/woman fancy’s you. At this time of “pregnant hope” you cannot afford to let go, you must see failure as your enemy, you need positive people, good friends and family and most importantly faith in God. I know it is very difficult but this is the time you should not feel pity for yourself or tolerate people that want you to cry about life all the time, this is the time to move forward and be strong. Move to the next level now!...
Expectations
Now that we have dealt with pregnancy and the understanding of pregnancy in the contest of the blog, I would like to introduce you to the next level. “The expectations”, permit me if you will, to take a little time to define this to you and probably somewhere along the line tell you a little story to help my point along. Hahaha…
If a man were to say to his partner “darling, I will take you for dinner on Saturday night”. This statement is what I call “factual intent” the word “WILL” produce a sense of certainty that goes with it. At this stage the Lady probably will go shopping for something to wear on Saturday night and book a hair appointment, tell all her girl friends, she will not accept any other invitation for Saturday from any other friend, maybe somewhere in there throw in a visit to the Nail bar. (Ladies you know what I mean..Ha ha ha).
Here comes Saturday, and the man does not turn up or tells you that something else has come up so the dinner is cancelled!. Now if there are any men out there reading this, don’t try this at home!. You are most likely to end up in the hospital! Or you will behold a sight you will never wish for again!.. You will literarily see fumes coming out of her ears, clichéd fist, red hot eyes and a part of her that you thought only existed in cartoons. At this stage the worst thing to say as well is “ I will make it up to you”. You probably can make it up to her but she does not want to hear how capable you want to claim you can be, NOT NOW!.
So why was she so angry over a dinner cancellation, well it was not just about the dinner. The use of the word “WILL” brings with it an “EXPECTATION” that means guaranteed to happen. Your expectations are things that will happen, you know it in your heart that it will happen, and you know it from everything around you that it will happen. That level of certainty comes only with expectation! The expectation of everyone cannot be compared to the hope you have. Because “HOPE” is not certain but everyone’s “EXPECTATIONS” are certain.
Taking you back now to the earlier paragraphs about pregnancy, where I related “pregnancy” to “hope”, if we are agreed that hope is like pregnancy (you know the baby is there but you take your time to be very careful not to lose the baby, you nurture it and do everything you can). All this is done in the hope that you will have your baby. Now when the lady is now in labour and screaming, giving birth to that baby and all that goes with it, that hope that she would have a baby suddenly moves to expectation. There is an expectation that no matter how long you wait, that baby is here and will come out, that “EXPECTATION” that there will be a baby soon is “CERTAIN/SURE”
Conclusion
So now if I were to say to you that you should be “pregnant with expectation” for the future, regardless of how things look now, no matter how hopeless it seems and even if no one believes in you. That your future will be great, that you will be fine and you should not give up, when I say that now you will understand that the fight you fight right now cannot and should define you as a person. The difficulties you face now are simply infections and distractions to the fact that you my friend is “PREGNANT” with a precious gift and greatness inside.
You must not let anyone or anything take that from you, you don’t have a job, you don’t like your job, your family is falling apart, no one seems to love you, you believe you have lost a precious love, the financial situation is worst on you than any of your friends. I just want you to remember, “You are pregnant” and you are about to enter the labour room. This is not the time to give up, God is with you in that labour room, there is always one person there even if you don’t know it, your baby will come in this labour room, because now that you have been patient your “pregnant hope” will become “ a certain expectation ”. I want to welcome you to your victory to your next level in life. I too am in the hospital being wheeled into my labour room. Together, we must never give up we must never say it is over because now we know that we can overcome whatever it is with God guiding us as we walk in this life pregnant with expectation!
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
Thursday, 7 January 2010
Life and her delusions
The very existence of the human being is a complicated maze of male and female emotions yet these complications or for a better use of words this emotional quagmire is the beauty of love. For those of you who are reading my blog for the first time I want to welcome you to the pot of truth and my personal opinion derived from my personal experiences or those of my friends. Some of these opinions me drive you mad but if you read this with an open mind and the willingness to explore other angles of the argument of life you will enjoy yourself being mindful that I am very conscious of the existence of God in our lives. That said, I am also willing to learn so feel free to comment on this blog, I also want to welcome all my friends, those who read my blog secretly and those who willing and freely share it among friends.
What makes women believe that the best way to know a man is to read women’s magazine on 10 ways to keep your man or 10 things your man wants. These articles are then written by women for women about men! How funny! Is it a wonder then that ladies still can’t please their men? I must quickly warn at this stage that the ladies should not feel that I am attacking women, so please read on! I do not want to attack you or accuse you any less than I would the men. I only want to ask a question, why are there so many single women? And yet there are so many single me?
Since I asked the question, I will answer it too so you don’t have to goggle it or stop reading my blog in search for the answers. In other to explore this question and the answer that I will put forward, I would like to name my imaginary woman as CAROLINA and my imaginary man as DAVID. Also don’t forget the questions as you read the answers (even if you don’t see them as answers, consider them nevertheless) because you could easily get carried away in the gender brawl! In a nut shell we are still as ancient as our ancestors! We just need to accommodate each other a little more while keeping our gender instinct. If you want the long answer then read on!
Delusion of society – Who really cares how unhappy you are? Who really gives a shit if you are sick? Who really knows if you can afford the dress you are wearing? So what if you have the most expensive ring? Did it bring true love? So what! You went to Harvard, who will it hurt if you spend your last penny in that expensive restaurant so that you can belong? Who cares if you are a member of that club? Who gives a shit if your mother was the prom queen? Who cares if your father owns the company? It’s not yours stupid! The fallacy of most of these things is that nobody really cares only the one that loves you but because women are aware of these things some men will go to any length for it. Our society has become so false that both men and women have lost their way trying to please the “Faceless society”. Some people will miss out on love because the person is not from a certain area, skin colour or country and yet we claim to be intelligent beings. We have become victims of some glossy magazine written by some sad bastard somewhere locked away in his/her office playing with your fears and telling you that is what society demands. Show your face oh society! Identify yourself! So that we too may
scrutinize you!
Delusion of age – There is a sort of delusion that is going on with Carolina these days; the society we live in has become so selfish that we believe we have all the time in the world before we commit to a serious relationship. This delusion would make Carolina of say 24+ tell herself she is still young, so she keeps partying and all the crazy things that go with it. She does not pay attention to the real man David 30+ asking her out for serious relationships, her answer to him is “you are too serious for me right now” so she lives her life like there is no consequence to actions and on a fast track! The funny thing is at this stage David himself may not be sure but he does what he believes would keep the girl of his youth, believing he is man enough to handle it. Suddenly Carolina blinks and she is 30+ now beginning to feel a sense of natural pressure, forgets about career, party and fast track. But now David 38+ and is gone.
Delusion of money – One of the greatest disappointments of the modern age is the inseparable link between success and money. Carolina now 35+ has done it all, lived on the fast lane, done the men thing, has the job and very very well paid I must add, and every couture shop in town knows her name. The question then will be, is she happy? Answer no! Because David 42+ who would love to be with her can’t be with her for long because he has a job but not as well paid, he has lived the life too. But whenever there is an argument or disagreement, Carolina would snap at him “I don’t need a man to survive, I have it all”. At that moment the very thing that makes David a man begins to die or begins to become angry, now David begins to evaluate his circumstance, he begins to feel he has no voice and his male instinct to protect and provide begins to scream for help. If only Carolina had just been mindful that the money does not give her male instinct. If your money is used properly, it could be a very powerful source of support rather than thinking that money makes you the man...oops!
Delusion of no emotion – Of all the studies carried out on human behaviour or human emotion, it is really strange to think that the studies carried out on men get very little publicity, not to mention that the studies on men’s emotions are very limited. Ladies, do not be deceived by the seeming strength of the man, he is an emotional wreck when you leave him or when the brake up happens. So gentlemen (or those of you who have brothers, nephews etc) it behoves us all to talk to men, get them talking about the things that really trouble them. Be a shoulder to lean on when things go wrong, be the mate to invite him out, be the listening ear and identify with him. Men, it is not masculine to lie to yourself about your pain, a real man is a man who knows when to cry and when to laugh, when to run and when to fight, when to be romantic and when to say no, when to say sorry and when to stand your ground. Believe me these things are more difficult to do than isolate yourself to destruction, men tend to climb the ladder of self pity faster and higher than women, so gents lets stand up and be called by our name!
Do you still remember the question I asked above in the second paragraph, take a look again and go through some of the things I have called delusion and you will be surprised at how many of us these things affect. So if relationships are going to happen and last, I would suggest the following
· You must be at peace with yourself
· Know what you want, because then you will know what you can give
· Become selfless
· Just remember no one is perfect including you
· Appreciate the nature of love – pure, forgiving, sincere and most times makes you feel stupid because of the things you may have to put up with
· Accept the person for their strength and weakness
· And most importantly make sure that the other person really wants the same things as you, because then you will build on the biggest gift of all LOVE
What makes women believe that the best way to know a man is to read women’s magazine on 10 ways to keep your man or 10 things your man wants. These articles are then written by women for women about men! How funny! Is it a wonder then that ladies still can’t please their men? I must quickly warn at this stage that the ladies should not feel that I am attacking women, so please read on! I do not want to attack you or accuse you any less than I would the men. I only want to ask a question, why are there so many single women? And yet there are so many single me?
Since I asked the question, I will answer it too so you don’t have to goggle it or stop reading my blog in search for the answers. In other to explore this question and the answer that I will put forward, I would like to name my imaginary woman as CAROLINA and my imaginary man as DAVID. Also don’t forget the questions as you read the answers (even if you don’t see them as answers, consider them nevertheless) because you could easily get carried away in the gender brawl! In a nut shell we are still as ancient as our ancestors! We just need to accommodate each other a little more while keeping our gender instinct. If you want the long answer then read on!
Delusion of society – Who really cares how unhappy you are? Who really gives a shit if you are sick? Who really knows if you can afford the dress you are wearing? So what if you have the most expensive ring? Did it bring true love? So what! You went to Harvard, who will it hurt if you spend your last penny in that expensive restaurant so that you can belong? Who cares if you are a member of that club? Who gives a shit if your mother was the prom queen? Who cares if your father owns the company? It’s not yours stupid! The fallacy of most of these things is that nobody really cares only the one that loves you but because women are aware of these things some men will go to any length for it. Our society has become so false that both men and women have lost their way trying to please the “Faceless society”. Some people will miss out on love because the person is not from a certain area, skin colour or country and yet we claim to be intelligent beings. We have become victims of some glossy magazine written by some sad bastard somewhere locked away in his/her office playing with your fears and telling you that is what society demands. Show your face oh society! Identify yourself! So that we too may
scrutinize you!
Delusion of age – There is a sort of delusion that is going on with Carolina these days; the society we live in has become so selfish that we believe we have all the time in the world before we commit to a serious relationship. This delusion would make Carolina of say 24+ tell herself she is still young, so she keeps partying and all the crazy things that go with it. She does not pay attention to the real man David 30+ asking her out for serious relationships, her answer to him is “you are too serious for me right now” so she lives her life like there is no consequence to actions and on a fast track! The funny thing is at this stage David himself may not be sure but he does what he believes would keep the girl of his youth, believing he is man enough to handle it. Suddenly Carolina blinks and she is 30+ now beginning to feel a sense of natural pressure, forgets about career, party and fast track. But now David 38+ and is gone.
Delusion of money – One of the greatest disappointments of the modern age is the inseparable link between success and money. Carolina now 35+ has done it all, lived on the fast lane, done the men thing, has the job and very very well paid I must add, and every couture shop in town knows her name. The question then will be, is she happy? Answer no! Because David 42+ who would love to be with her can’t be with her for long because he has a job but not as well paid, he has lived the life too. But whenever there is an argument or disagreement, Carolina would snap at him “I don’t need a man to survive, I have it all”. At that moment the very thing that makes David a man begins to die or begins to become angry, now David begins to evaluate his circumstance, he begins to feel he has no voice and his male instinct to protect and provide begins to scream for help. If only Carolina had just been mindful that the money does not give her male instinct. If your money is used properly, it could be a very powerful source of support rather than thinking that money makes you the man...oops!
Delusion of no emotion – Of all the studies carried out on human behaviour or human emotion, it is really strange to think that the studies carried out on men get very little publicity, not to mention that the studies on men’s emotions are very limited. Ladies, do not be deceived by the seeming strength of the man, he is an emotional wreck when you leave him or when the brake up happens. So gentlemen (or those of you who have brothers, nephews etc) it behoves us all to talk to men, get them talking about the things that really trouble them. Be a shoulder to lean on when things go wrong, be the mate to invite him out, be the listening ear and identify with him. Men, it is not masculine to lie to yourself about your pain, a real man is a man who knows when to cry and when to laugh, when to run and when to fight, when to be romantic and when to say no, when to say sorry and when to stand your ground. Believe me these things are more difficult to do than isolate yourself to destruction, men tend to climb the ladder of self pity faster and higher than women, so gents lets stand up and be called by our name!
Do you still remember the question I asked above in the second paragraph, take a look again and go through some of the things I have called delusion and you will be surprised at how many of us these things affect. So if relationships are going to happen and last, I would suggest the following
· You must be at peace with yourself
· Know what you want, because then you will know what you can give
· Become selfless
· Just remember no one is perfect including you
· Appreciate the nature of love – pure, forgiving, sincere and most times makes you feel stupid because of the things you may have to put up with
· Accept the person for their strength and weakness
· And most importantly make sure that the other person really wants the same things as you, because then you will build on the biggest gift of all LOVE
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)